Joaquin Phoenix to quit hip hop career, wants to be Spanish Civil War Lieutenant

In another unprecedented move, former actor Joaquin Phoenix has decided to abandon his hip-hop career, and has sold his hip-hop label, so that he may pursue a military career, and, in particular, a position of mid-level military office in the long ago Spanish Civil War. Though neither a graduate of a military college, or the recipient of any formal training to this point, the former actor insists that his talents and interests lie in this new endeavor fighting the Portugese, and he would like to be left to make the decision without anyone making pre-judgments. In a post on his blog, he says, “There are few who will understand this decision on its face. After all, I very recently went from acting to music, and many would be skeptical about a new start in something else, but I would ask that people withhold pre-judging.”

Phoenix was famously criticized for an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, when his request to appear in the future as a hip-hop singer was met with derision. The Spanish Civil War was fought from 1936 to 1939, about 25 years before Phoenix was born, but that is seemingly not a deterrent to the former actor. “This war was a long time ago, but this is my passion,